VASELINE AND SPANX

I am guilty of being negative and a complainer. My therapist advised, “When things aren’t going your way or seem unbearable stop right then and start naming things that you are grateful for, never repeating. Think of all the things that you have accomplished (especially, the things you didn’t think you could achieve)". There are times I can spit things out and other times I have to really concentrate. I’ve tried this exercise on Facebook a few times. However, the responses were always the same- "I am thankful for Jesus, salvation, health, kids, jobs, significant others, friends, houses and cars". Don’t get me wrong, all these things are important and I am grateful for them, too. However, when you can’t repeat things, it can get very interesting.

I’m going to start my THANKFUL LIST in this post. Every now and again, I will add to this list as a new post or include it in a post that is on different subject. You will be able to recognize them because I will always use “T4TT” (THANKFUL 4 THESE THINGS). Here goes:


1. Vaseline

2. Spanx

3. That someone invented the air conditioner

4. The shoe pads that you place inside of your shoes to keep your feet from sliding

5. The person that came up with the recipe for biscuits

6. That my sons will sit in my bedroom until I fall asleep when asked


As long as we are living there should be something that we are grateful for. Heck, if you passed away to another life and go to live with Jesus, that is definitely something to be thankful for!
T4TT~ 7. People that read my blog

In all things pray and seek the Lord. Allow Him to help you make decisions-not Kooley! These are just my thoughts, opinion and experiences.

WEIGHING HEAVILY ON MY MIND (lengthy post)

"SISTA BIG BONES" sung by Anthony Hamilton is one of my favorite songs. As far back as I can remember I have always been mindful of my weight. Maybe I should say I’ve been concerned about my appearance. This has been an issue up to a few days ago. Can you believe I have been dealing with this nonsense for close to 28 years? This is the main reason I want to work with young females. Having low self-esteem can lead to a lifetime of mistakes and hurt.

In the early part of the summer in 1984, I experienced a tragedy. At that time, I didn’t tell anyone. I carried that weight around for years (literally). For the remainder of that summer I stayed in Virginia with family. This is when I started using food for comfort. This is also when I became ashamed of my body.

When I returned home, the neighbor looked at me and said, “Wow, you’ve gained weight. Your thighs are rubbing together.” Although, he probably wasn’t saying it to be hurtful, it planted a seed of low self-esteem and shame. There I was dealing with “The Secret”, doubting my decisions and thinking my body was the blame. This was confirmation (so I thought). From that moment, I began hiding my thighs, to the extreme of carrying a towel around to cover them while I was sitting. I also started eating more as a means to self-mutilate.

Over the years, I continue to use food for comfort. Whenever I experienced terrible thing I used food to cope. Finally, the weight became more than my body could handle. I was advised to have the Gastric Bypass Surgery. I did. I lost 140 pounds. This was not an easy way out as many people thought. Over a 10-year span, I gained 40 of it back. I’ve had four surgeries, became allergic to seafood (my FAVORITE food), suffer with arthritis in my knees and have to deal with more aches and pains than most people my age.

So what’s the point of this blog post? There are two reasons. One, I’ve decided to just accept my body for real this time. I am a woman with curves. I came from a long line of large frame, hippy and full breasts women. I can’t expect to be tiny when my bones and booty weigh a lot right by themselves. My thighs fight each other when I walk. And, my days of wearing stilettos are long gone. I have arthritis in my knees and daily pain, therefore I will just have to adjust my diet, daily activities, exercise, and sense of style to accommodate it. That’s until God heals me or my knees are replaced. I will focus on getting healthy. I am already blessed not to have some of the other health problems that are usually associated with not being the world’s ideal size such as hypertension, high cholesterol or active diabetes.

Two, never allow anyone to change how you view yourself. Someone’s opinion does not make it true. If we concentrate more on being healthy and less about our dress size we would save ourselves a lot of anguish. God made each one of us just the way He wanted us. Some have blue eyes. Some are tall and some are short. Some were meant to be small and some of us were meant to be thick, big-framed, and curvaceous. DEAL WITH IT! 

 In all things pray and seek the Lord. Allow Him to help you make decisions-not Kooley! These are just my thoughts, opinion and experiences.

THIS IS GONNA HURT ME MORE THAN YOU

“BULL CRAP”…this is what all of us probably were thinking when we heard this from adults as we were growing up! However, now that I am a mother, I concur. Executing tough love to anyone hurts us mentally and emotionally. Good Lawd, it’s even more difficult when we have to do this with our own seeds.

In spite of everyone around me telling me that I was wrong, there were times I had to cancel Christmas, not celebrate birthdays, enroll in private school in the wilderness, sit’em on the bench and take away all things used for entertainment. Believe me when I say, these weighed heavily on my heart. No good parent wants to see their child hurt or disappointed.
Not so long ago, I had to push one of my birds out the nest. People questioned his maturity and his competency levels. At first, I felt a little guilty. I started to second-guess my decision. Then I thought of all I had done to prepare him for this. I had prayed and planned for years.

First, I made sure he attended church. This taught him how to have a relationship with Jesus. Next, I sent him to a private school in the wilderness for a school year. He learned to survive and weather the seasons, literally. He listened to me and joined the National Guard. This was to teach him a trade along with coping and life management skills. In addition, along the way, I taught him how to survive domestically. He learned to clean, cook and pay bills. I enrolled him in all programs that I thought would help him mentally.

My Two Birds

I gave him a deadline and brought boxes home. When that day came, I was one elated mother. Please don’t think I thought of him as a burden (although, my grocery bill might decrease). My oldest birdie was getting ready to face the world. He had the lessons and experience. Now, we had to see if he could fly alone (not really alone, Jesus has him covered). Yesterday, he called to tell me that he landed a job. Wow, I really do know my child. It was hard for me to stop carrying him, yet I knew it was time for him to take flight and start his own journey.

I know he will make mistakes. He is welcome to come back home if he really…really…needs to (shhh, don’t tell him that). Although it was a tough take off, I believe he will soar high and have a smooth journey. One down…one to go!

Psalms 139:9

9 If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;

10 Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.

(My favorite bible verses)

In all things pray and seek the Lord. Allow Him to help you make decisions-not Kooley! These are just my thoughts, opinion and experiences.

SWEET SUMMER

I HATE SUMMER! If you really know me, you already know this. Wait. Let me back up. I’m grateful that I am among the living and can feel the heat. Yet, I rather have spring, fall or winter any day of the month. I complain so much and become so irritable when the temperature and heat index rise. But, the other morning I was taking a cool shower and some sweet summer memories started flowing.

The cool water reminded me of the few times we were allowed to play in water using the water hose. Then we upgraded to a Slip and Slide. Being outside wasn’t the fun part. It was the privilege of getting my hair and clothes wet. This was a rarity. I declare if I inhale hard enough I can catch a whiff of the smell of wet hair and Ultra Sheen hair grease.

                                                       
Then there were family trips. You would think we were preparing to fly to another country judging by the excitement (which made us unable to sleep) and how much food was packed. I hated the fact that we would be outside all day whether it was the beach or King’s Dominion. However, I loved being amongst by cousins. Because our parents were engrossed in their conversations, we could talk about anything and laugh about everything without being reprimanded.

How did I forget about July the 4th at the Town’s Common? I didn’t care about the fireworks. I was more interest in what FRESH (yes, I wrote that) outfit. I remember the airbrushed t-shirts and biker shorts. Then there was the year we wore the Esprit pajama short sets outside. The freedom of walking Downtown with my friends, hanging out all day and walking home in the dark made enduring all the heat worthwhile.

I guess the best part of the summer was Labor Day. This was the point when I could relax…summer was almost over. It was the time to go back to school after we had our family reunion. Back in the days, we just had one reunion and all the families came together. We would be outside all day. Well of course, I would go in to get something in the house and didn’t return for hours. I just stayed out the adults’ way. My grandmother house and yard would be so full. I would hear my great-aunts and uncles in their cutting up, laughing and singing. This was a treat because in those days youn’uns weren’t allowed to sit amongst the grown folks…”tending to their business”. The joy of your cousins “from the city” coming was almost too much to bear. I knew I would be staying up late and swapping stories to catch up.

Whew, finally mom would pull out the undershirts (now we call them t-shirts) and pack away the shorts and sundresses. We would go shopping for school clothes. And, the Pitt County Fair would be right around the corner. I always believed the Fair was bringing the cool air to us every year. Once the last stuffed animal was packed and the remaining rides disassembled, I could finally relax. The dog days of sweet, summer was gone and the fabulous days of fall were knocking at my door!


In all things pray and seek the Lord. Allow Him to help you make decisions-not Kooley! These are just my thoughts, opinion and experiences.

THE START OF KOOLEY'S CREATIONS

     Wow, Kooley has a Blog. I succumbed to the peer pressure. My family, friends and associates have convinced me to write my thoughts, lessons and TRU STORIES and share them with the world (I just think they were tired of me taking up some much space on Facebook). Honestly, I never thought anyone would find my words interesting. By no means do I think I am an expert on anything. I truly have plenty to learn myself. However, I have experienced so much in the 40-something years I’ve been on this earth. Some good, some bad, some were self-inflicted and others were brought on by no choice of mine. Nevertheless, I've learned to take it all in stride. I never want any sympathy. I am not a VICTIM. I am a SURVIVOR.

     Writing has always been my outlet. I declare so many things happen to me so I could have plenty of material to share. I was told that I see things in an entirely different light. Some say I tell too much of my personal business. I’ve even heard that no one really cares and I am just giving them something else to discuss. After some time, I realized that people are going to talk, like and dislike no matter what I do or say. If my words could help just one person then my struggles and sacrifices were not in vain.

My heart's desire is to eventually reach out to young females that are having difficulties in their life. Until that time, I will continue to learn, grow and soak up all the experience and wisdom I can.
Come and take this journey with me…

In all things pray and seek the Lord. Allow Him to help you make decisions-not Kooley! These are just my thoughts, opinion and experiences.