I have to be honest and tell you there were times that I received things through manipulation and deceitfulness. However, at that time, it satisfied a hunger in my life. As I got older, I started admitting how much I was requiring of my male counterparts compared to what I was giving. Please believe me when I tell you I was quick to dress up in sexy lingerie and cook a meal or two. These acts were provided when KOOLEY felt the timing was right and only the things KOOLEY wanted to do.
Until this last marriage, I never considered asking and LISTENING to what, when or how any man wanted anything. Until recently, I never cared. He got what I wanted to give and he had better love it. In actuality, I was trying to avoid giving him the things I was uncomfortable sharing. I had limits and I didn’t want anyone to require too much of me. I would do any and everything to avoid exposing this part of myself.
One night, I thanked him for treating me like a queen and then these words jumped out of my mouth-“Teach me how to treat you like the king you are." He quickly responded telling me that it should come naturally. So, I quickly reminded him how he was informed of what I consider romantic, scents l like and what flowers I dislike. I had to teach him what felt good and what did not. We’ve always talked about my needs, wants and interpretation of love. So, what does he REALLY need and want?
I know how to be a mother. I know how to be an employee. I sort of know how to be his girlfriend. But, I was never taught to be A wife...HIS wife. Don’t be fooled to think courting and marriage will be the same (that’s another post right by itself). I’ve learned so much over the past weeks. One of my “closest-mostest” reminded me to take the time to be welcoming and loving to my husband in the manner I want to receive love. That was a valuable nugget of knowledge. T4TT: Close friends
In just a small amount of time, I’ve seen a different kind of twinkle in his eyes. There is a different beat to his strut. I guess I am finally maturing. With that process, I want to make my man smile when he isn’t at the kitchen table. I want him to long for me before we enter the bedroom. I want to please him and be just as pleasing. I want to love him the way he needs it. I want to love him like the king he is…MY KING.
In all things pray and seek the Lord. Allow Him to help you make decisions-not Kooley! These are just my thoughts, opinion and experiences.
