ANOTHA LOVE T.K.O.?

As I always say, I am not a professional. I am just giving my opinion based on my experiences and/or what others have shared with me. With that being said let’s get straight to the point…MARRIAGE IS NOT FOR PUNKS. I know the word “punk” isn’t politically correct to use. Alllright, I’ll change it to “weak”. Marriage is not for those that are weak.           

It takes a lot of patience, communication, time and effort from both people. You will never give equally. One day you will give 95% and your spouse will give 5%. Rest assure you will have your seasons of only giving 10% and your spouse will have to sacrifice the other 90%. You can't be selfish and expect to stay together. Nope, I had better take that back, too. You CAN be selfish and stay together. I just think it is a breeding ground for bitterness, resentfulness and disrespect. Who wants to deal with all that miserableness?

Lawd knows I love my husband. But, there are days (a lot of days…too many days) I want to kill him dead. I know that’s harsh. I don’t doubt that he feels the same about me at some point. And, that’s OK. I often wonder if I have what it takes to hold on to him and our marriage. I wonder IF I want to continue to put forth effort.

All of this should have been sorted and decided before I said, “I do”. I thought I had. I thought I was ready this time. I thought I love him so much that I could spend the rest of my life with him willingly. When I just say that statement-“F-O-RRRRR T-H-E R-E-S-T OF MY L-I-I-I-F-E”…it’s like a Matrix movie going on in my head. Everything slows down! Time almost stands still. I begin to feel like I am serving a life sentence with no chance of parole. I begin to plea my case and ask for leniency. I buck against my vows.

                                                   
Then there are those days I see him looking at me with so much admiration. His eyes yell, telling me that I made the right decision. I remember that he does everything in his power to keep a smile on my face. That makes my heart grin. He takes so much and asks for so little. He has sacrificed a lot of his time and sleep for my sons. He treats them as if he helped bring them into this world. These things were required before the marriage and were given to me. These things slap me in my face stating that I am not perfect and have no right expecting him to be. These are the things that remind me to hold on a little while longer.

I guess I’m not ready to throw in the towel. I have a few more rounds in me…

In all things pray and seek the Lord. Allow Him to help you make decisions-not Kooley! These are just my thoughts, opinion and experiences.

IT'S A DOGGON' SHAME

I was taking a brisk walk in my neighborhood. I looked back, as I often do, and saw a man being pulled by two pit bulls. He was talking sort of loud so I assumed he was giving his pets commands. I picked up my pace in hopes of them veering off the path before I had to turn around and walk towards them. Of course, they were right there headed my way. I decided to just let them have the sidewalk. I jumped in the street and kept my swift strides. OK, I was scared for a reason. I was once circled by pit bulls while taking a walk one morning. All of those memories came rushing back.

The closer they got to me, the more nervous I became. Finally we were “Dress Right Dress” to each other. That’s parallel…to you civilians. The man said, “Hi, there”, and then continues his cell phone conversation. Then I focused and looked down at the objects moving at his feet. I heard, “Hello”. I burst out laughing. What I thought was a man being pulled by his pit bulls was in fact a father holding on to a strap, connected to his son’s tricycle. All that adrenaline for nothing.

Someone please help me find my glasses. Seriously, after I calmed down I was reminded that this is how I handle so many other situations that enter my life. I see or hear something. By just taking a glance, I size it up. Although I wouldn't have the pertinent information I start to panic or get too excited. I find all sorts of reasons why I can’t do it. When in all actuality, I am making some important decisions on mirages. And, this my dear, results in a lot of mistakes, unfulfilled goals and plenty of regret.

The moral of this blog is 1) Always keep up with your eyeglasses 2) Get all the facts before making a decision 3) There is nothing to fear but fear itself (Ummmm, I think we need to add-God and seafood-I'm allergic).

In all things pray and seek the Lord. Allow Him to help you make decisions-not Kooley! These are just my thoughts, opinion and experiences.